“My confidence and power secret - it’s all in the hair!”

My Confidence Secret


Did you know: hair plays such a significant role in our overall confidence and self-esteem? A good hair day can help us feel attractive, energetic, and even more intelligent, while a bad hair day can leave us self-conscious, distracted and deflated. But we all face unique challenges when it comes to hair confidence and achieving “good hair”. These challenges can be social, genetic, or health-related, and they can really weigh us down! In this blog we discuss why hair matters to overall confidence and self-esteem - we end with a few practical steps to look after our hair, ourselves and boost our overall confidence.


Our hair is intertwined with our identity and image, communicating so much about us, our style and individuality. At work, hair takes on new meaning! Unfortunately, first appearances do still count! Our peers judge our competence and intelligence based on appearance and there is even evidence that these superficial judgements can impact hiring decisions, promotions and performance reviews (Rosette and Dumas, 2007). Many of us know this intuitively. In fact, on her very first day at work for an international consultancy, our founder was told her curly hair looked “messy” and that should be straightened in order to look professional!

Faced with these challenges, we often feel pressured to fit imagined standards of what looks professional. These pressures can negatively impact our self-confidence, leaving us more uncertain and indecisive in our professional roles, and less willing to put ourselves forward and speak out. Conversely, when we feel self-confident, we are more likely to participate, putting ourselves forward and having our voices and opinions heard.

Black women in particular have faced unique challenges when it comes to managing notions of so-called “good hair”. Throughout history, Eurocentric beauty standards have emphasised straight and lighter-toned hair and driven many Black women to straighten or relax naturally kinky, coily and curly hair (Ricks, 2018). Increasingly, however, conversations about embracing and elevating natural hair are becoming louder. Schools and workplaces are being pushed to correct policies that have required black women to wear their hair in Eurocentric styles which can damage hair health as well as their mental health.

The power of our hair continues as we age. During menopause, our bodies produce less oestrogen and progesterone. Lower progesterone levels often make hair grow thinner, get more oily or change in texture (Blume-Peytavi et al., 2012). These changes to our hair, our body and even our mood all in one go are incredibly difficult, affecting our self-esteem and confidence at a vulnerable point in our lives.

Finally, our hair can also be linked to our health! Lower shine, increased breakage and hair thinning can result from stress, illness or indicate that we need to look after ourselves better. That our hair can be such a physical manifestation of a deeper issue can compound the stress and insecurity we feel presenting ourselves to the world.


Don’t worry! We’re not going to give you a long or time-consuming list of steps to add into your already busy days. But we do believe it's important to take a pause, reflect and adapt our habits in small and meaningful ways. Here are some ideas for harnessing the power of hair to improve confidence.

  1. Book in enough me-time. As mothers, partners, sisters and friends we tend to put those around us first and when we get busy, self-care time can start to slip. Remember to take care of yourself. Take a couple of minutes to breathe mindfully every morning, maybe treat yourself to a spa day once in a while (schedule it in!); eat your fruit and drink plenty of water. These free breathwork sessions by Aicha McKenzie Instagram are an excellent resource to get you started.
  2. Chat to friends and seek out advice and support. There are few things better than the power of those around us. You’re not alone! Speak to friends with similar hair or in similar life-stages to share fresh ideas on how to style and look your hair. Online communities are a great place to start! There are some incredible women on social media who are sharing their experiences about looking after natural hair and greying locks, amongst others. Remember, if your hair is changing drastically in a short timeframe, please don’t hesitate to ask for medical help!
  3. Finally, find what works for you. As a member of our community, chances are you’re already doing this, but this is an important reminder! Every now and then adapt your routine and try something new - a shampoo for volume, deep conditioner for a little more nourishment, a different haircut, or a silk hair wrap that hydrates your hair and you feel wonderful wearing! We can’t find what makes us feel most confident without experimenting and finding the right products for us. What’s suitable for different ages and hair types will vary especially when locking in moisture or battling the elements - we’ve delved into that detail in some of our other blog posts. But if you’re short on time, some quick recommendations are this Davines/MOMO shampoo for greying or dry hair, this Curlsmith conditioner for dry curls, Pattern Jojoba oil serum for kinks and coils, and the Olaplex bonding hair oil for your wavy hair!

The (usual) disclaimer: we recommend products that our team likes and uses, but we encourage you to explore trusted brands and consult with hair care professionals to find the most suitable products for your hair type and concerns.

Hope this helps and if you have a question or any tips you’d like to share, please comment below.

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